Until When?

It's July of 2019 and for the first time, I bought myself some bluetooth speakers. It's fun to have speakers, you get to improve the vibe of the room you're in or the experience of the media you're consuming.

14 months later, it only stayed at a certan room for several months; then a week ago, the one time that I brought it out of that said room with me, unfortunately, I lost it. I looked everywhere, asked around, and I couldn't find it.

I'm sad.

It only took a few minutes of the absence of mindfulness to lose an item that's been serving me well for 2 years whose performance hasn't really declined. I'm not really the most devastated person about it, I'll surely live and function and ideally even prosper and thrive.

It's just honestly frustrating - like I kinda wish it went away for other reasons like, I dropped it and it broke or a friend accidentally spilled water on it (although it's kinda water proof but you get the point). But no, I don't even actually remember my last moment with it. I actually only recognized it's missing 2 days later after I brought it out with me.

Everytime I remember it, I scream with a 10% volume "Nooooooooo!". (Nooooooooo!).

It's honestly easy to tell myself that, I just have to move on from it and this further grieving won't do shit no more. In my head, I've already told myself that I just have to be more mindful next time and keep in mind that I have it with me before I head towards another location so I don't lose it again.

Emotions are just a feedback system. The reason why I'm feeling this way is because my speakers are an important item to me and I value keeping important items and when things happen that are against my values - my emotions give a feedback (through pain) to me (creatures in general) to change my ways and consequently (supposedly) not lose my important stuff again.

Supposedly, life is just like that. We live and we learn. Objectively speaking, it's arguable that there's no point in me sulking over my lost speakers which is (to be fair) not the best / most expensive speakers in the world and can honestly easily be replaced (unlike our human relationships). Supposedly, I must have already learned my lesson by now.

I should just move forward and focus with the plentiful other great things in life that are still present.

Given that in mind, I still do however think that it's really not the most irrational thing in the world to grieve 5 days after the loss of my easily replaceable speakers. I'd argue that it's just part of being human.

The question I have in mind; however, is until when? Until when am I gonna mourn (hyperbole) over my lost speakers?

I do not honestly have the answer to that. I'd like to think I can choose the other option which is to just get over it - but it just doesn't seem as simple as it sounds. Maybe I'm just feeling more emotional than rational right now. Maybe there's an energy for grief or sadness that I just naturally wanna release and I'm projecting it over this event.

But until when?

Thinking about it further, until when are we actually gonna regret the missed opportunities of the past, the wrong decisions, and the miscalculations. Until when are we gonna feel sad about how we should have talked or spent more time with the people that we're no longer gonna hang out with on a daily basis due to the current circumstances of our society (it's currently July 2021).

Is the weight of the pain of regret and loss actually worth bringing with us in the future?

Some emotions are truly uncomfortable and I may be wrong, but right now, I do have the notion that it's worth embracing the range of human emotions (and arguably also a healthy option) as we just didn't evolve to be always satisfied as the hedonic treadmill of hunger and desire that we always have to be in a better spot is hard-coded in our blueprint to ultimately support us in our path to progress and prosperity.

RIP to my beloved speakers, you will be missed. I'll take care of my ears for now.