What I Learned About Communication in 2019

I'm still not really the best person when it comes to communicating. Especially verbally, I don't think the part in my brain responsible for keeping up with my thought process and forming words accordingly has had enough practice. My current job involves a lot of staring at the screen all day while thinking of technical solutions that a computer understands. Plus, coming from a culture where an assertive and straightforward manner of communication isn't really popular, throughout the years I've overlooked its importance.

I consider myself as a highly emotional person. I used to be afraid of coming off as an arrogant prick whose personality makes people uncomfortable. Eventually, however, I've come to realize the value that communication brings.

See, no man is an island. Our lives are better off working and interacting with one another to live our best lives. May it be with our personal relationships or colleagues, we're all different people with different backgrounds, perspectives, personalities, and philosophies. It's inevitable. We're bound to have disagreements since the source of truth about the right thing to be done regarding the infinite scenarios that we might find ourselves into doesn't really exist.

I lost 2 months of friendship with a valuable friend last 2019. We spent a lot of time making assumptions on what the other side is feeling rather than talking about it ourselves. We only got to realize it after we actually talked and I honestly consider it as one of the best conversations I've ever had because it was brutally honest and real. It was cathartic and liberating to see and express the truth. We realized it wasn't fair to assume what the other person is feeling and to expect that the other side understands you if you haven't done your part in expressing it.

At one of the organizational general assemblies that I was able to attend back in university, there was this speaker holding a red paper infront of everybody. She asked us if the paper she was holding was red, we all said yes. When she asked us if the paper was blue, we all told her she was wrong. She then flipped the paper for us to see that the other side of the paper was, in fact, blue. She then told us, "Don't tell someone they're wrong when you haven't seen their point of view". It stuck to me every since but I didn't really think that the seeing part may involve the effort of stepping outside your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be seen as a vulnerable human being. It doesn't change my notion that not every person is worth the effort, but some may be - and not doing your part can cause grief and regret that may one day push you to write a blog post about it in an effort to prevent more tragic situations from occuring.

Since then, I'd like to think that I've been more upfront with my thoughts and emotions, to others and to myself. It's not enough that you have substantial thoughts - if you aren't able to make other people understand them, for the most part they won't seem to be as valuable as they can be.